Posted by sunny10 on May 20, 2005, at 13:53:59
In reply to am i doing this right??, posted by rainbowbrite on May 19, 2005, at 18:33:03
IN MY OPINION---
you are only doing it right if you've already had the conversation where you TOLD THEM that you would be ignoring them until they go get help...And talking to them while they are temporarily sober is not the answer, either. You are rewarding them for "not drinking right now" instead of taking a stance that you will not be there for them until they get professional help to stop drinking at all. The only way to not enable at this point is to not be involved until they agree to get help. If they want a ride to the clinic, yes, please, by all means give them a ride.... Matter of fact, having gone through this before myself , I told my "them" to call me for the ride when they were ready to go- otherwise I wouldn't speak to them at all. That was when I put my foot down- of course, it was academic because this was at the intervention, but the offer of a ride was accepted and appreciated (later!)...They won't understand the statement that you are trying to make unless you actually make the statement!!!
It's the open communication that is the key. "Isms" like to hide...it is harder on the ism when things are out in the open...
poster:sunny10
thread:496819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050506/msgs/500378.html