Posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 12:00:11
In reply to Re: another possible way to handle it » sunny10, posted by rainbowbrite on May 18, 2005, at 10:49:49
first and foremost, you didn't cause any relapses.
You do not have the power to reach your thoughts into their head and move their muscles to bring drink to mouth...
Sorry, but you simply do not have that power...
Another sorry, but the only thing you can do is not enable the behavior. I don't agree that you are the one responsible for whether this person gets help. AuntieMel will be the first to tell you that only that person can get help for themselves.
Me being the person I am, I would tell this person that I will no longer be around to watch them kill themselves and that I will not be there for them until they go get help for themselves. Because in the past I've been a codependent enabler and I refuse to go down that path and hurt myself all over again.
I did what felt right for me after I sat down and wrote out the pros and cons of the current situation and list possible actions on my part and possible outcomes. If you're anything at all like me, you've got a million and one scenarios running around in your head. For me, it turned out to be a list of "If he, then I" scenarios. I had to turn those scenarios around to make them about what would benefit ME- the one that was left that would benefit both of us (painful or not)was the right one for me to choose.
-sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:496819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050506/msgs/499430.html