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Trying really hard

Posted by partlycloudy on November 3, 2004, at 20:54:27

In reply to Supporting each other in this forum, posted by partlycloudy on October 14, 2004, at 7:18:58

i want oblivion so badly right now but don't have the wits to sneak a drink, plus i know it puts me in a worse place than when i started. my emotions are under a magnifying glass. sadder than if my cat had died. angrier than if my home had been broken into. thoughts racing so quickly my breath comes quicker when i lie down to sleep. once i stop my body in motion, my mind goes into high gear and i just want it to stop, please. and to think this morning i felt peace as i looked at the waves lapping the shore on a beautiful beach. why can't i let things be? why do i have to churn my every emotion into such a frenzy that i can't stop crying? i think i have finally run out of tears for today.
this is why i drink. but not tonight. tonight i will type and post and make my eyeballs so sore they will be jumping out of my face.

 

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poster:partlycloudy thread:402905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041013/msgs/411333.html