Posted by Allen770 on October 24, 2004, at 9:12:27
In reply to First drink - triggering, posted by vwoolf on October 15, 2004, at 11:28:14
> It's after six pm. I usually have my first drink at about half past seven. I get this really panicky feeling in my stomach, of horrible, unbearable angst, and I know I won't be able to do without it. How can I ever think of doing without it? If I don't have a drink I'll have to SI or do something else to take away the pain. It's with me now, and I don't know what to do. Last night I counted out all the pills in my stash set aside for the extreme solution, but managed to call my T first. I spoke to her again half an hour ago, and she extracted a guarantee from me that I would speak to her first before actually doing anything. But I don't know if I can. If the pain gets too bad and she is out? It's Friday and I won't be seeing her until Monday. Oh God, I need that drink soon.
I can totally "relate." I "came-up" in Toledo, Ohio A.A. 20 yrs ago with old timers and . . . they'd actually say--I've seen & heard them, many time, tagging along on 12 Step calls:
"Here . . . Here! Take the drink! You NEED it!"
And, of course, they always did. They "took" it. They need to.
Then, afterward, after some "coffee & talking" we'd get the "prospect" into a hospital, or at least away and out of his home environment; "People, Places, and Things.".
This can easily be construed as "permission," no doubt (as if alcoholics need "permission," or yet another "excuse" for a binder), but what I'm prepared to say is just this: I believe that it's better to "take a drink" rather than taking one's very own life.
I believe that, and I think that I'd do so, anyday.
--Allen
poster:Allen770
thread:402905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041013/msgs/406588.html