Posted by Caper on June 5, 2004, at 22:48:25
In reply to Caper, posted by Impermanence on June 5, 2004, at 22:28:28
Do NOT be sorry you posted this tomorrow! That's why this site exists and why I am here for you. I will never ignore your posts!
I'm glad you're safe at home for now. Please try to remember what I've said before about suicide- you do not truly wish to die, you just don't want to feel this way. If you feel you're leaning toward that option, please go to a hospital! Suicide is not the answer- you either won't be around for oblivion you seek or "afterlife" will not be very nice or there will be _nothing_. In that case the world will be deprived of a very intelligent caring man and you will be deprived of what life can offer when you get better. You are still so young! This is not going to be your whole life!
You are _not_ pathetic and don't you dare be sorry you posted this. It's how I feel sometimes myself and there have been times when your responses to my posts lifted my spirits. I feel you are my friend now, so post anything, anytime. The only time I wouldn't answer would be if I were in the hospital (AGAIN).
So you are drunk tonight, that doesn't mean drunk forever. Don't put yourself down- try to be as nice to yourself as you are to me (I know that's easier said than done, but try anyway for me okay?).
What kind of treatment are you receiving right now? Psychiatrist? Therapist? I'm curious because it seems maybe you need to switch some things around.
I'll be thinking of you. Please write back soon so I know you're okay.
More hugs,
Caper
> I'm so drunk right now, I don't know why I'm posting. I stole my dads bmw tonight to get more drink.. I got home safely, thank god..
> I can't stop drinking, I'm on a big binge at the moment...
> I just wanted to share my thoughts with you, I feel like such a useless c**t now I have twelve cans of larger by my side..
> When I start I find it very hard to stop... I have drank myself to oblivion so many times and know the consequences but yet I just can't help myself..
>
> I know when I get sober I'll be fine, I will take control, but as I'm drinking I'm a f**king mess.
> I want to feel alive so much, drinking makes me feel alive but also tells me to just cut my wrists yet again and get it over with..
> I'm so lucky to have what I have but I still feel this life is nothing but a tedious test of my patients.
> I'm drunk now so please ignore what I say, I'll be sorry I posted this tomorrow..
>
> Sorry to go on so much about myself Caper, I'm just depressed and feeling sorry for me at the moment. It's so pathetic, I know...
> Lot's of love xxxxxxx
>
> P.s. NikkiT2, I get the f**king message, thank you all the same..
poster:Caper
thread:354153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/354159.html