Posted by Lindsay Rae on December 19, 2003, at 22:35:47
In reply to Xanax or Ativan....thoughts please, posted by krazybirdlady on December 17, 2003, at 12:44:18
Oh boy, I'm really in for a horrific awakening if and when I come off of this stuff. I posted my "story" in another thread, but to make a long story boring, I have been lead straight down the path and am currently on (are you ready for this?) Methadone: 120 mg, Xanax 1mg 3x a day, Zoloft 100mg, Tagament (Cimetidine) to make the first two work longer and stronger, and Ice Cream.
I'm in my mid twenties, and I'm fully functional on these meds, to the point where I'm still depressed. It's scary, to put it bluntly, but this is where I've ended up. And it was no slow progression. I have what the Orthapoedic Surgeon called the back "of a 90 year old," so I was prescribed Darvocet for the sciatic pain from a pinched nerve, but I continued to take the meds for three years after diagnosis. It made me feel joy that I thought was not possible. I never exceeded the normal dosage and didn't need or want to. But one night when I was drinking (Vodka and Vicodin cocktail), I met...oh, I'll just copy and paste my other post.
I know you weren't addressing me with this question, but I would like to take a stab at it since I have too much experience and knowledge concerning this topic. I did both: I took opiates consistently for three years with the antidepressant effects working well without upping my dose, and after the three years I met someone who introduced me to Oxycontin and Heroin, respectively. I had a child with this man and lost him within two years. He was 27, and he died four weeks ago today from an opiate/benzo combination (I think) just before entering rehab. That said, Ultram doesn't work like Vicodin, Percoset, and the like. I don't even think it's an opiate; it was just recently classified as a narcotic, and even that is questionable. I know a couple of people who like taking them because they've experienced weight loss, but that's about it. I had a bottle of it and traded it for Darvocet back in 2000. Perhaps it's all in the mind, but I distictly remember feeling "an exaggerated sense of wellbeing," which is an actual warning under "side effects." Now how can you beat that for depression? I wholeheartedly want to believe that people like you and I NEED a synthetic opiate to feel "normal," but unfortunately it's not at the top of the Medical Journals' lists to prove or even research this theory. And until they do, it remains just that--a theory. I would give anything to go back to '99, when I first discovered that taking one Darvocet was the hidden key to unlocking peace and comfort in my own head. I could take one before class and really enjoy discussing the various literature pieces I studied on the path to getting my English Lit BA degree. In one fell swoop, I became pregnant, was placed on Methadone, and lost my fiance to the drooling jaws of addiction. Sorry to get off topic, but I guess that's how I introduce myself now. Shoot me an email if you think I'm qualified to answer your questions about opiates.But I'm scared to death to detox off of these strong meds that I depend on to take every breath. My fiance had a seizure when he stopped Xanax suddenly. Last month he died from whatever deadly combination he got into that day.
Dr. Bob, do you have any advice on tapering from the narcotics, and if I will EVER feel like getting out of bed or completing a task without shaking and vomiting once off the opiate supplement? I feel like there is no hope without the meds. I don't even feel particularly *good*, but I can't take less because I don't want to feel worse. I doubled my Xanax dose when my fiance died last month, and my counselor says it's all normal, but I don't wasnt to be on all this crap forever. My brain will never be able to function nomally again.
Thanks for replies!
Lindsay
poster:Lindsay Rae
thread:290969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20031208/msgs/291786.html