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Re: sigh

Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 5:09:08

In reply to sigh, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 4:47:45

so i hope i get to be in a better mood by Thursday.

not entirely sure what to do / what is to be done.

to improve it, i mean.

i am tired of being treated like a stupid child who must be mismanaged by others because... because... well, because they are getting away with it.

people are very focused on others. others as targets for exploitation. that is how most of the people here make a living. exploiting others. there are the exploiters and the exploited. 2 classes. that's how things are, here. you are robust, suck it up, lash it out... or you internalise it... then become a target. you don't see sensitive people. playful people. creative people.

you see targets. and you see vultures circling...

nasty things.

it isn't good for me, here.

did people use to be different?
were people different?

where are the people?
where did they go?


i was applying for jobs with the DHB
that got me seeing what jobs were advertised.
that got me seeing that there are plenty of jobs in advertising.
plenty of jobs in HR.
plenty of jobs in hiring and advertising and readvertising and interviewing and helping with people with applications...
plenty of jobs with policy administration gobbledygook nobody f*ck*ng knows why that job pays well but someone collects up that pot of money...
and the same thing being advertised over and over and over and over and over...
i guess no qualified medical laboratory scientist wants to work part time from 12pm to 8am.
but keep advertising it... keep advertising it... keep advertising it...
then you can cry: 'we can't find skilled staff'
other positions are similar
they don't seem to want to fill the position with anyone permanent.
they often don't seem to want to filll the position at all.
i am sure the health board has other things they would rather spend their money on.
they need to figure out where their next pay increase is going to come from, most importantly.


i see the tourist ships come in...
i walk about...
i feel like...
like it's 50 years ago and the ships come in to vanuatu or whatever.
and the natives have all presented with their prettiest daughters to give to the highest bidder for a day or two or...
thats the feeling of it.
all these water front apartments.
they are mostly empty.
there is nobody home.
they prefer to lease substandard housing for exhorbitant prices to locals who are required to go through 2 property managers...
to force the locals to engage in illegal activity to pay the rent.
thats the way of it.
to force the locals to engage in illegal activity.
as the only way to make a living.

that way they can kick them out or whatever whenever they want.
that way they don't have to follow the rules.
the rules on providing heating and ventillation.
even sewerage.


nz has not offered me a way of life, at all.

there is plenty of money.

they refuse to process my applications.

they refuse to calculate my gpa

they refuse to give me my qualifications

they refuse to grade things properly

they refuse to grant scholarships on academic merit (that are supposed to be granted on academic merit)

things are too corrupt here


who will hold them to account?

our people cannot kill themselves fast enough.

nobody wants to live like this.

f*ck*ng nasty horrible psychopaths ruining things for everybody

what a f*ck*ng joke




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