Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1106811

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sigh

Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 4:47:45

i don't know they will let me do it.

they starve me out, you see.

they don't allow me accommodation where i can focus on my studies.

people stab into my motorcycles starting ignition.
people slash the cover on it.
it doesn't work anymore anyway.
it being kept outside in the snow in Dunedin ruined the electrics and mechanics don't want to touch it...
nobody saw that coming
nobody but me
(i'm sure they did see it coming -- people get off on my having nothing and on my being trapped).
the basic human things
that this country does its best to withhold from me.

i can do anything.
that means i am not allowed to do anything.
i am to go away and do something else.
always.

where is my money?

where does the scholarship money go?

i am supposed to believe that the scholarship and selection committes are too stupid to calculate my GPA?

people cannot kill themselves fast enough, here.

nobody wants to live like this.

 

Re: sigh

Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 4:56:57

In reply to sigh, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 4:47:45

they just f*ck*ng gutted everything. ruined it all.

our national this and our national that. it's all sh*t. there isn't anybody home.

our people are incapable of grading.

that is the bottleneck.

you can force all the students to do the same first year program.

so you can hire 1 lecturer to teach maybe 5 lectures to thousands of kids. they can watch the lecturer on tv. from their home. or they can turn up to class and trample each other trying to get in to the overcrowded lecture theatres because that's what all their friends are doing.

but who will grade their work?

why bother grading their work?

just give the kids the places that you were always going to give the places to.

nobody can tell the difference.

quick pick them up pick them out quickly quickly quickly before the other students realise that their payment of fees are paying for these other kids scholarships. These other kids full rides.

then these other kids get paid to work as doctors in our public hospitals while other peoples kids pay the university thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars for degrees they refuse to sign off on because...

because they are too stupid to calculate a gpa?

because they thought you looked at them funny in the clinical skills test. because they didn't like the way you asked permission before touching them they decided they felt better if you grabby grabbed them...

where is the different?

where is the competent?

where did it go?

i used to be able to ride around teh suburbs on my motorcycle...

all these houses. houses and houses and houses... nice houses. green leafy streets...

then back to the sh*t hold ghetto with the prostitutes and drug dealers. that's the life for me.

apparently i can be a lawyer.

i can be a lawyer for free.

i can represent myself in the high court. they've been uploading the templates for teh filings, you see, because it's too hard for the legal aid lawyers to do it and why would the government pay for legal aid lawyers to do it when you can force the peopel to do it for themselves for free.

that's the life for me.

i can do appeal and appeal and wait 20 days and send a reminder and send a reminder and send a complaint and lodge an appeal and file a proceeding...

and in 5 years maybe a judge will grant me a fit for purpose cooking pot!

oh, what a life for me!

nobody wants to live like this.

f*ck*ng nasty stupid idiots.

burned the convention centre because people were too stupid to recognise an underbid.

we will give the contract to the cheapest quote.

only the cheapest quote.

so they lie to get the contract.

insure the project overseas.

then soemone sets it on fire.

so the insurance will see the project through to completion.

still see no corruption, new zealand?

you have to be f*ck*ng kidding me.

 

Re: sigh

Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 5:09:08

In reply to sigh, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 4:47:45

so i hope i get to be in a better mood by Thursday.

not entirely sure what to do / what is to be done.

to improve it, i mean.

i am tired of being treated like a stupid child who must be mismanaged by others because... because... well, because they are getting away with it.

people are very focused on others. others as targets for exploitation. that is how most of the people here make a living. exploiting others. there are the exploiters and the exploited. 2 classes. that's how things are, here. you are robust, suck it up, lash it out... or you internalise it... then become a target. you don't see sensitive people. playful people. creative people.

you see targets. and you see vultures circling...

nasty things.

it isn't good for me, here.

did people use to be different?
were people different?

where are the people?
where did they go?

-----

i was applying for jobs with the DHB
that got me seeing what jobs were advertised.
that got me seeing that there are plenty of jobs in advertising.
plenty of jobs in HR.
plenty of jobs in hiring and advertising and readvertising and interviewing and helping with people with applications...
plenty of jobs with policy administration gobbledygook nobody f*ck*ng knows why that job pays well but someone collects up that pot of money...
and the same thing being advertised over and over and over and over and over...
i guess no qualified medical laboratory scientist wants to work part time from 12pm to 8am.
but keep advertising it... keep advertising it... keep advertising it...
then you can cry: 'we can't find skilled staff'
other positions are similar
they don't seem to want to fill the position with anyone permanent.
they often don't seem to want to filll the position at all.
i am sure the health board has other things they would rather spend their money on.
they need to figure out where their next pay increase is going to come from, most importantly.

-----

i see the tourist ships come in...
i walk about...
i feel like...
like it's 50 years ago and the ships come in to vanuatu or whatever.
and the natives have all presented with their prettiest daughters to give to the highest bidder for a day or two or...
thats the feeling of it.
all these water front apartments.
they are mostly empty.
there is nobody home.
they prefer to lease substandard housing for exhorbitant prices to locals who are required to go through 2 property managers...
to force the locals to engage in illegal activity to pay the rent.
thats the way of it.
to force the locals to engage in illegal activity.
as the only way to make a living.

that way they can kick them out or whatever whenever they want.
that way they don't have to follow the rules.
the rules on providing heating and ventillation.
even sewerage.

---

nz has not offered me a way of life, at all.

there is plenty of money.

they refuse to process my applications.

they refuse to calculate my gpa

they refuse to give me my qualifications

they refuse to grade things properly

they refuse to grant scholarships on academic merit (that are supposed to be granted on academic merit)

things are too corrupt here

---

who will hold them to account?

our people cannot kill themselves fast enough.

nobody wants to live like this.

f*ck*ng nasty horrible psychopaths ruining things for everybody

what a f*ck*ng joke


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