Posted by SLS on December 29, 2014, at 8:18:05
In reply to Re: No message ***trigger***?, posted by Angela2 on December 28, 2014, at 18:24:36
Hi Angela.
I hope that you are feeling somewhat better.
I think I understand the hurt and demoralization you experienced when you saw the Facebook posts. Perhaps your family thought that you were overwhelmed and just wanted to be alone. It is hard to know without asking them. Maybe you should communicate your feelings. Depression can be an illness of isolation.
It is my conclusion that your life sucks, and that this is not your fault.
When I was 31, I felt old and was convince that the better part of my life was over. Being somewhat older now, I realize just how young 31 is.
I wish things were different for you. Keep fighting and moving forward. There is still plenty of time for you to get well and build a happy and rewarding life for yourself.
Do you have any good memories to hold on to?
I hold on very tightly to the memories I have of the short, but complete remissions that I experienced resulting from treatment. They represent the light at the end of the tunnel of darkness, even though I don't know how much longer is the tunnel that lies before me.
Sometimes, I find that making a list of things that I am grateful for helps.
- Scott-----------------------------------------------
> Hey Scott. Thanks. I feel like my post yesterday was an incoherent ramble. lol. Christmas was really hard for me this year. I have a lot of family from my mom's side here. And I don' really feel like part of them even though they came over to my parents house, where I live. They took pictures and i wasn't in any of them. Though it's true I spent some of the time upstairs. I saw some of the pics on Facebook and something got triggered in me. I snapped. It was like, wow, I'm really not part of the family and I don't feel loved or cared about or connected to them at all and it sucks and I just want to move across the country. And admitting all of it, it makes me think, man, there really must be something wrong with me. This is not how i wanted my 31 years on this earth to turn out. I've become so isolated. Something i really want to change.
> And i don't hate men, lol. But I'm just kind of swimming in pain and painful memories lately.
>
> Thank you again. I don't think words can really express how much I appreciate you and everyone reaching out to me. So I just say thank you.
>
> Angela
>
Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.- George Bernard Shaw
poster:SLS
thread:1074528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20141123/msgs/1074552.html