Posted by alexandra_k on June 26, 2014, at 18:26:10
In reply to Re: today's lesson, posted by alexandra_k on June 26, 2014, at 18:07:00
they say it takes 9-12 months to settle into a place. to... make friends or whatever. i think that is partly why things have been so frustrating for me since moving back to nz... there simply is no fast tracking the process... and then it taking about that amount of time to figure out that... things weren't working for me.
i mean... i guess i bailed on the looking for work in wellington thing a little bit early... but then sport science didn't work out... and then physio didn't work out... maybe i could have pushed on... but the living circumstances were unbearable...
i have come to the right place. stay here... i mean. will stay here. but other things are... taking time, yeah. will do... that's life. there simply is no fast tracking the process.
i just have to believe... things will work out for me. somehow... someway... people are looking out for me... there will be a place for me. something... happy. some sort of... security. eventually. knowledge that... i have a space that is mine. and one day... if / when it comes to it... if i need to go into care or something... that i'm protected by the insensitive space invaders. that latter bit... fills me with fear, actually. i've been looking into health insurance... seems like there really isn't much... isn't any guarantee... a private room should i get hit by a bus... the ability to say 'not that nurse - i don't want that nurse 'looking after' me'...
i... uh... don't know what to say.
most GP's seem to work... 2 or 3 days per week. they are self employed. there were protests or somesuch a while back... the government gave... more to GP's... because of the shortage. to try and recruit them... keep them... because they are cheaper than specialists, i think. government is trying... to get them to work longer hours... after hours especially... cheaper to have patients go to their GP after hours than to go to the ER in the hospital... I mean... There are patients waiting on trolleys in the hallways in the hospitals because we don't have enough hospital beds... Sleeping in the wait room... GP's don't seem to be biting, though...
the lifestyle, apparently.
I think that is what I need. to work... 2 or 3 days per week. spend the rest of that time preparing and decompressing. then actual *quality work* where i can hold my head high about it. feel some kind of self respect.
i think a huge part of the problem is that i'm too old... i should be... nearly there. not starting over. philosophy didn't work for me... people told me so... no portable other... no supportive family... i can't afford to ship myself across the other side of the world for a 1 year post-doc position where my job is to find my next job... wait the couple month it takes for payroll to come through... pay interest on a credit card for late reimbursement... i can't even afford to take up something like a 3 week full time equivalent position without losing the security i've got with disability. whatever...
maybe law. maybe... we'll see. see if medicine comes through for me, i guess. see if... i can do science. labs... who knows. i don't know what to say...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140621/msgs/1067452.html