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Re: I'm so confused and scared » Deneb

Posted by Dinah on October 26, 2010, at 9:03:40

In reply to Re: I'm so confused and scared » twinleaf, posted by Deneb on October 24, 2010, at 17:19:07

> Online forums are the only place where I can get support. If I can't get it here on Babble, I go to the Pro-Ana sites. This is not a threat, it's just reality.

Is it? It's a big internet, yet you perceive your only two choices to be Babble and Pro-Ana sites?

Sometimes "reality" for a person involves more than facts. Facts would seem to indicate that there are many places to get support online. Why did you eliminate all others? What, to you, makes it reality that there are only these two choices?

What about that hair site you used to go to? What about other mental health forums? I'm sure there are forums for people leaving college and entering the workplace.

What, to you, makes it reality that there are only these two choices? I'm not doubting that it is your reality. I'm only wondering what, aside from the facts, make it so.

You say it's not a threat, and again I believe you. But pragmatically speaking, what results are you likely to get from the statement? Do you think people will post to you more so that you don't go to the Pro-Ana sites? Has it been your experience that this expectation has been an accurate one?

How would you feel if I made a similar statement? How would you feel if I said that if you didn't loan me money, my only choice would be to go out to the casinos and gamble huge amounts of money? Would you accept my assessment of my choices as reality? Would you see other choices I might make? How would you feel about my making it sound as if you were responsible for my going to the casino? Would you think you were responsible?

There's nothing inherently wrong about saying what you believe is true. And if it's getting you the results you wish, then there's no need to examine it. But if it's not getting you the results you need, pragmatism would suggest that you consider what alternatives might meet your needs better.

 

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