Posted by fayeroe on August 6, 2010, at 16:41:36
In reply to Re: Lessons from Bob » fayeroe, posted by sigismund on August 6, 2010, at 15:17:26
> Maybe psychiatrists with websites have thought long and hard about the human condition and think that there will always be discord and if the price for politeness/civility is a series of blocks and a whole lot of people who feel like their skin is crawling, then so be it. Like political leaders do.
>
> I had to look civility up. It's a word I never use. Politeness I understand. Friendliness, yes. All this sacrifice over whatever the f*ck it is, the use of I statements and......everyone knows the intent of the people they know at all, at least I think they do, I think I do. So what's it all for? What's anything for? Don't ask me :)"everyone knows the intent of the people they know at all, at least I think they do, I think I do. So what's it all for? What's anything for? Don't ask me :)
I agree with you. Uptopia doesn't exist. What a boring life that would be. I've learned more from my downs than I learned from my ups.
All of this made me think of reading a comment board while the young California sailor was lost at sea. She had been able to send one message and I guess something broke and it ended her transmissions.
Lots of people were commenting and most were genuinely concerned for the girl and were thinking of her and some were praying for her safety.
Then out of the sky blew the people who were on the attack. They were furious over several different aspects of the story. The ones who were the angriest were the parents who said they would NEVER, EVER let their child out of their sight and that letting that girl sail off alone was just like signing her death certificate. They yelled and carried on about bus drivers, swimming coaches, teachers, cops...you name it, these folks see danger at every turn. They home schooled their children. No way would they trust that someone/anyone else could keep their child safe. My mouth dropped open and probably remained that way throughout this long, long comment thread. In short, the only life they wanted their children to have was with them at their side at all times.
When they finished with "world safety" for their children, they set in on that girl's parents. It was a war! Things were said in anger that blew my mind. Never knowing these parents and never planning on meeting them..they crucified them for allowing their child to go off by herself to set a world record.
Then the "soothers/reasoners" arrived. They talked at length about letting children experience the world. Let them do things on their own. Let me feel. Let them hurt and let them heal. They talked at length about how prepared the teenager was to take the trip alone. They sent good wishes to her. None of them blamed her parents.
There must be a reason why I answered you the way I did. A friend came and we've been outside repairing a screen door and in the 102 heat, my brain "refried"..
You get it though. The tighter the grip the less hold you really have.
God, it is hot. And we're only at August 6th!
poster:fayeroe
thread:956448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100806/msgs/957544.html