Posted by Dinah on July 21, 2010, at 12:14:31
Ok, part of it is superstitious magical thinking. I've had two dogs in a row now with fatal juvenile health issues. It sort of crossed my mind that maybe God doesn't want my family to have to care for my dogs. Or maybe He wouldn't want my dogs to have to be cared for by my family, who sad to say aren't really dog people. I'm not sure how I gave birth to a non-dog person...
But in addition, I've been having increasing (and disgusting) health problems. My most recent doctor thinks it might be celiac, though my reading of the test results is totally different than hers. And it wouldn't make any difference anyway. I'm not even going to pretend I could be gluten free. I read somewhere "You can live a perfectly normal life as long as you don't eat any gluten." Now there is a self contradictory sentence if I ever heard one. Fortunately I'm pretty sure further testing will rule out that possibility, and I'm not sure why the doctor is so set on it, since the test results don't seem to support it at all.
Plus, well, I'm just falling apart. There are the issues that are likely not uncommon for a female of my years.
And... I went for a 3 mile hike with incline on my vacation and I was seriously sure that I was either going to have to be airlifted out or die. I came close to passing out at one point. People older than me were passing me by. People heavier than me were passing me by. Small children just learning to walk were passing me by. My family was so embarrassed I'm sure.
Yet I can't see myself getting organized enough to get in shape.
I don't actually want to die. I want to escape my troubles most certainly. But death isn't my preferred way of doing that.
poster:Dinah
thread:955271
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100716/msgs/955271.html