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Moving/not-moving - old feelings arise! » Dinah

Posted by Kath on May 18, 2008, at 11:51:07

In reply to Re: Our new canoe - it's red. » Kath, posted by Dinah on May 18, 2008, at 10:41:33

> How exciting!
>
> I love how you set aside time for spending with nature.
>
> One of the things I really regret about not moving (and I'm regretting it more all the time) is that there were so many really beautiful places close enough to drive for a day trip.

Hi Dinah,

Yes, I sort of feel my whole 'being' expand outwards when I'm in Nature. Hubby & I go for a walk in the forest pretty-well every weekend at least once, - at least until mosquito season. We try to find places where the mosquitoes aren't too bad even then.

Although we have quite a big & private back yard, we live in an older subdivision & I HATE that. I can hardly think about it or it is TOOO upsetting. Before I married hubby (it'll be 15 years this July) I lived out in the country on 2 acres - old farm house with a walk-out French door to a stone patio...which had a few big old gracefully-hanging pines nearby. It had a veggie garden, a little forest off the the side, enough trees around the property to feel cosy, enough lawn to not feel hemmed in, a pond at the front, a long lane coming up from the road with a little bridge over the stream from the pond.

OH my gosh. It was SO hard to move from THAT into a small house in a "Hi World, Here I AM" subdivision!!!! Yuck. I think I still feel some anger about it.
Hubby owned his house; I rented.
Hubby's older parents lived near him & were VERY (at the least, emotionally) dependent on him - esPEcially his mother; I didn't have relatives who I saw.
Hubby worked an hour away from his fairly senior job; I lived 3 hours away from his place of work & my job was no big deal. I was pretty "mousey" at that time...when he said moving to somewhere in between didn't work for him, 'he had his parents & he had his job!' I merely acquiesced. On my 'side' of the 'case', my daughter who was about 17 at the time, had finally made some good friends, & didn't want to move away from where I lived, so decided if I moved away, she'd stay there (I still have grief about what feels like being 'wrenched' away from her.) My son, who was about 8 & was VERY upset about his dad leaving, was distraught about leaving his friends. I'd be leaving all my friends & support people (professional & not) who'd helped me through my ex-husband's affairs & helped me through my separation, single-parenthood & divorce. WOW - who knew all THIS would come up in a post about my canoe!!! This is good - I'll bring this sh*t up in Group Therapy some time.....I didn't realize I still had this intense anger! I think the BIGGEST thing I am angry about is that he didn't even ACKNOWLEDGE how the pendulum was swung to his side in the move, nor do I feel that he gave a sh*t! I did bring it up once, but obviously didn't get a response that made me feel that he was anything other than selfish about the whole thing. ~sigh~

When did you decide not to move, Dinah? I can't remember reading about it, but with my memory that means little! Do you live in a city? Sounds like you'd have QUITE a drive to be really out in Nature Dinah. Was the chance to move a one-time thing? (As in employment opportunity etc).

I send you hugs, love, Kath

 

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