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Re: Very Close To Ending This H*ll! **trigger**

Posted by Fivefires on April 28, 2008, at 14:54:18

In reply to Re: Very Close To Ending This H*ll! **trigger** » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on April 27, 2008, at 22:33:53

> Five Fires for exactly the reasons we discussed you're changing meds and you need to learn as much as possible before you begin.>

But you see I've not yet done so and it is support I was looking for right now. This fear is very very strong. If I haven't mentioned before, it's not just about an MAOI, but it's also become an issue of whether I choose to begin it in a week and a half, and it's also an issue of whether I choose to detox off a narcotic I've been on for four(4!) years. It's overwhelming so and this is why I've wanted to just get support her on the social board. I'm scared if I move over to medication or any other board, I will have put the horse before the cart and set myself up for something I've not yet 'made peace with in my ability to do so'.

>Social is for the emotional>

I am overwhelmed with emotions about these issues. They are choices. They are not mandated. With the support of some who care for me here maybe I can do one or both of these tasks I have set up, only partially.

Just today I'm thinking maybe it should be a combined task; inpatient begin detox and Nardil.(?) I don't know. I thought I'd call and get a referral to the pain management doctor. They should deal with a lot of depression as well as pain. I could see what he thought about this. There is a particular facility I'd be comfortable in to detox and only have my PCP on board with this, and even that isn't sure to get me there. I can't do this alone here.

I'm going to make that call today and get an appointment set up with this pain mgt doctor.

>and friendly issues.>

And I know you are my friend and appreciate it very much.

>If you like post here. It's your decision.>

I know. Thank you for saying this.

>Love you and you know this Love Phillipa ps I'd like to see you get as much feedback as you can.>

I will give it some thought today. Had a bad night last, but so far I've been able to get through half a day without yet running for my corner and my dad's throw, though as I speak of them, I feel it welling inside me.

I feel the same way about you. I'm sorry if I overreacted. Don't worry. I know you're trying to help. I'm just feeling so uncomfortably defensive. I probably didn't make this clear enough at all. I do have a hard time putting a name to my feelings and as well I suppress feelings and thoughts and truths w/o meaning to do so.

as all ways, 5f


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poster:Fivefires thread:823777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080428/msgs/826086.html