Posted by rskontos on February 2, 2008, at 18:45:37
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by llurpsienoodle on February 2, 2008, at 17:57:08
Happyflower,
I am even older than you, and i would tend to agree. I will go one further though. I believe there is good and bad in each person, I believe that in some the bad just is stronger and either overpowers or becomes the overwhelming influence. I know my mother had good in her, yet she never displayed it to her own kids. SHe did to others. I saw it my sisters saw it and we often wondered what did we do to not deserve it. She is dead now and we cannot ask her. Maybe she was just too ill to give it too us. She I think was BPD but she could be cruel and my sister would just said she was a *itch. Whatever she was she had many sides, and they were usually just scary. yet to the outside world she was very different. And she changed us forever. We are all different due to her and my father for the way they handled having children.
It made me feel very much like you. No, not when I was younger, but now I feel more like you do. I have found friends that I trust but unfortunately due to her and my father only to a certain point. To a certain point no one gets past. I think if I answer Ll question for me it would be what changed was the layering of hurts on top of each other. To the point no one seem trustworthy enough to trust with much of anything. Most people became aquaintances. They were, unfortunately, tested with minor information, and based on that, it would be seen if I could go farther. I tip toed around people. But eventually, I just shut down most all communication and opening up. It just got too hard. I know my mother and father influenced how i handle all types of relationships and I am now hoping therapy can help me mend some of that. Maybe not all, but some.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:810179
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080130/msgs/810351.html