Posted by Racer on January 27, 2008, at 21:37:27
In reply to Re: Have you ever heard of Bill Hicks? » Racer, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 27, 2008, at 20:57:54
> > So, if I go to the 'Just for Men' salon, get a hair transplant, and body-sculpting/surgery, I should be just A-O-K, eh?..lol.
>I know you're joking, but I dated a man (actually, we lived together and were planning to marry, but that's not how I like to remember it now...) who had a toupee. He actually had a strip of skin surgically removed from his stomach to create these spaces for the clips of the toupee. Ick.
Mr X is losing his hair, and he's very self conscious about it. He's one of the older onset balding patterns, which is a bit different, but it still hits self-image. I love his hair, I love his rising forehead, and the only regret I have for his hair loss is that he worries about it so. Being you -- being Jay, exactly as much as you are Jay here, being Jay as you are when no one is looking -- that's what makes you most attractive.
And your mother is wrong about your weight. Exercise in the way you enjoy most, because that's what it takes to keep a program going. Eat food that keeps you healthy. Take the medications that help you most. Anyone who's worth the effort of a relationship will love you for respecting yourself enough to take care of yourself. And anyone you have to put on a New Improved Jay suit for is not worth your effort.
As I said, the Racer School Of Attracting the Opposite Sex has one hard and fast rule: the first and best way to overcome self-consciousness -- and to be most attractive to others -- is to focus on someone or something else. If you're with someone who's passionately interested in, say, paleoanthropology, ask about Homo ergaster, and focus on the answers -- they'll lead to more questions, which will lead to more discussion, which will lead... Well, honestly, it'll probably lead to your partner in this thinking you're awfully smart and interesting, since she may not notice that you haven't talked much yourself. Alternately, if you're passionately interested in, say, paleography, and she asks about it -- let your passion show. That passion is what people respond to -- the energy, the interest, the animation: those are what most people respond to.
Now, obviously, it can be hard to find that trigger point for that sort of conversation in real life, but the basic point remains.
By the way, I also recommend, for those of us who maybe don't always show well in person, online options that allow for getting to know one another in writing first. That helps.
Hope this helps..
poster:Racer
thread:808962
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/809267.html