Posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 20:56:35
In reply to I REALLY need your help...almost suicidal (**trigg, posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 6, 2008, at 20:52:20
Dear Jay - I am so sorry you're in such awful pain.
I've copied Dinah's post because I think it is SO wise & I totally agree:
What do you like to do? A hobby can give you a group of people to hang out with. If eventually you meet a girlfriend through it, that's a bonus. But if you give of yourself, you'll likely get something back.
A while back, a woman from a group I was involved with died. When she died, she had no family. But there were more people at her funeral than I've ever seen. She'd given a lot of herself to the group, and she was much loved and appreciated.
There are a lot of different paths to a happy and fulfilling life. Sometimes it takes a bit of imagination to get there. Letting go of expectations or the belief that you must have xxxx in order to be happy. In the end you might get xxx after all. Or you might not. But you can build a worthwhile life, either way.
You know, on a dating site, they don't get to know you, experience your vibes, see the sparkle in your kind smile, etc, etc. I think being involved in a dating site might sometimes be almost masochistic!!!! That being said, that's where my daughter met her partner & they're really happy & I know of other such cases.
BUT - hey! - if you figure out stuff to do in real life that you can enjoy, you can be actually doing something interesting WHILE you're in the market to meet someone.
In life, in general, often it's only when I've 'let go' of something & sorta chilled out about it, THEN it's just come along.
Now, saying that, when my ex left, I was pretty frantic to meet someone. I put an ad in the paper; answered ads in the paper. Guess how I met my husband? I contacted some old aquaintances to see if they wanted to go to hear some jazz. That led to going skiing together on one of their daughter's birthdays; that led to hubby & I saying 'hey that was fun, let's do it again' & that blossomed into a fun skiing friendship that extended outside skiing & eventually turned into LOVE!!!
I agree with Dinah's comments Jay.
I send my warmest wishes to you.
Haven't read the rest of thread yet; only the first 2 entries.
luv, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:804721
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/804921.html