Posted by Fivefires on August 2, 2007, at 9:02:52
In reply to Tips on DETACHMENT re:Kids? Son'sRehabIntake etc, posted by Kath on July 25, 2007, at 17:06:42
I think detachment may be over-rated Kath.
I don't think I'd be very impressed with myself if I isolated myself from one I love who obviously needs me in a way that isn't always pleasant for me.
I say 'How do I let go?'.
Someone told me, 'You don't. You stay strong and proud'.
It was a light bulb moment.
You CAN 'just be there' Kath; sometimes right on top of things and other times lying low. I think this may be the very best thing you can do for your children and yourself.
Knowing your limitations is good. Explain to your child if 'you need a little break', but always remind them you're right here for them.
My father always ended our phone calls w/ 'call me if you need anything'. Well, he didn't have a whole lot to be giving and I knew this and he knew this and knew I knew this, and we both knew what he meant when he said this. ;)
My mother has recently abandoned me in many ways.
I 'THOUGHT', I was the weak one!(?)
She is depriving me of her love before she leaves me in the physical world. (I used to be so proud of her.) And, my siblings are doing her bidding. (I used to be so 'in love' with them.)
She/they 'walled me off' to protect themselves from a lonely me, to keep themselves and their partners ever happy.
I want to always try my hardest never to leave one of my children feeling abandoned. I have one child who needs a lot (She acts like she doesn't.) and sometimes it feels unbearable, but thank God, 'it's just not in me to hide or turn away'. A breather and an explanation is certainly okay now and then.
My mother and sisters, in, I guess their perfect lives, don't recognize any value in me. My father did. Was he wrong? I don't think so.
I'd rather be wise and weary now and then, than afraid and cold, because I think in our final moments we will see our lives clearly, what we did right and what we did wrong, and in a bit of that moment, realize it's too late to go back.
we'rebetterthanthat, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:771933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070707/msgs/773500.html