Posted by ClearSkies on July 25, 2007, at 18:23:54
In reply to Tips on DETACHMENT re:Kids? Son'sRehabIntake etc, posted by Kath on July 25, 2007, at 17:06:42
Well, I have no tips. And I'm not a parent. I have a step daughter who has pretty much cut herself off from her family and has multiple problems with abusing substances, and has mental health issues. And I'm an alcoholic (in full sustained remission, as my therapist puts it, smiling), so there are triggers galore for me with all this stuff.
Kath, do you get one on one counseling for yourself at the moment? I know that you have used groups like Al-Anon for support; but I also think that getting individual therapy is equally important. It helps us from getting "our" stuff entangled in "their" stuff. For myself, I find that I keep identifying so strongly with what my step daughter is going through at any given moment, that I want to take her by the hand and say, "watch what I do and it will be much easier."
But of course life doesn't work like that.
I guess I'm saying that by preserving yourself the best you can, and nourishing yourself the best you can, you make yourself the best mom that you can be. For me, that meant working closely with my therapist (and not to mean that I act in the capacity as a mom; she already has one of those).
But I truly believe that between mental illness and addictions, an entire family is threatened. And it's up to the strongest of us in that family to keep ourselves in the best possible health so as to help sustain the other members of our family when they need us.
((((Kath)))) I hope you know that I say these words with love and caring and in no way mean to imply that you aren't already doing a fantastic job - you are!! Just make certain that you are taking the absolute best care of yourself that's possible.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:771933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070707/msgs/771949.html