Posted by Kath on August 1, 2007, at 20:32:45
On Monday I received the phonecall & the lady asked if he could come up Thursday. I went outside, asked him & he very reluctantly said OK. Then he came & spoke to her on the phone & apparently he thought she meant for a meeting & when he realized she meant 'admission' he said he'd have to phone her back.
Told me that no - he can't go away for 3 months right now; it's too long a program for him, etc. It was a horrible shock for me, because he'd grudgingly said yes & I'd breathed a BIG sigh of relief!. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. My husband & I (& bio Dad) were of the opinion that the longer he waited to get into rehab the more of a chance he wouldn't go.
SO, now he's broken HIS part of the agreement. For our own sanity, we're lettting him stay with us 'til the end of August, including coming next week to the cottage, home for a week, camping for a week. We can't face 'kicking him out' right now & don't want him to be here alone while we're away.
It sound sorta crazy I guess. I think a LOT of people would say "OK you're OUTTA here!" But we don't want to be worried about the security of our home while we're away. We also want to deal with this in a way in which we KNOW that we've been MORE than fair if he in future tries to do the "you kicked me out" thing.
What a mess families get into when there's addiction. I think it's messed us all up!
I plan to go away for 2 weeks to Camillus Centre to a CoDependency rehab (or co addict). I'm probably just about as sick as he is in this 'dance'.
I told him last night exactly how I felt about his failure to keep his word, & I told him today that I'm not prepared to support him in the route he's going with his life...that 'til the end of August I'm putting it on the back burner since we'll be living together 'til then, but that at that time, I'll be deciding what my involvement will be....that my goal as his parent is to see him independent & healthy.
Once he's not living here, I think the very best thing for me would be to have as LITTLE to do with him as possible. I wonder if it's possible to do that lovingly? I find it confusing.
Anyway, that's the update.
Doing a fair bit of crying these few days.
Kath
poster:Kath
thread:773417
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070707/msgs/773417.html