Posted by ElaineM on July 8, 2006, at 17:53:21
In reply to My first padded cell, posted by tofuemmy on July 8, 2006, at 13:27:14
Emmy: Never posted on this board before, but your message was so heart-breakingly eloquent. I've never been in a room like that, but I've been in the closet-like interrogation room before. The one where they ask you the same questions every other T, Pdoc, counsellors ask, and then decide whether they've gotta keep you, or can send you on your way. I remember the video camera though. And I remember that they locked me in it, when an emergency alarm went off and they had to deal with someone the police were bringing in. I sat curled in the chair for four hours waiting, listening to the man across the hall screaming at the top of his lungs.
It must've been horrifying for you. It's hard enough when you feel, People don't know me at all, harder when you come to realize that you don't even know yourself. Or at least the person you thought you were.
I don't know how to move on. At least not in a functional way. I think I still run from that experience rather than encorporate it. I've never felt so scared as when my autonomy was taken away, so all I've thought of since is how I can make sure that that will never ever be me again. I know that's probably not healthy. So I think you're really brave even writing about it. Have you told others before about what it was like? How did they react?
I can't fully identify, but I have a small sense of what that may have felt like for you. I hope my responding out of the blue, doesn't creep you out. I don't really know alot of the screen-names on the this or other boards. But your message was so moving.
I hope you can find some comfort.
(((((tofuemmy)))))
Elaine
poster:ElaineM
thread:665132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060628/msgs/665193.html