Posted by Kath on May 21, 2006, at 16:29:10
In reply to Re: Can't detach from 22yr old son's stupid choice, posted by Racer on May 21, 2006, at 14:34:43
Hi Racer
*****Thank you so much for answering. It means a LOT to me.*********
-- since I have no children of my own. (That's my tragedy.)
******I'm sorry Racer. I know a lot of women who don't have children & want to & it must be really painful.*******
> I'm afraid the only thing I can think of to say is that you gotta step back and let him make these mistakes. Yeah, he's hurting himself, long term, but the only way he's going to learn that is to do it at this point. The only exceptions are if he has such a dangerous drug habit that you can get him into rehab, which would not be a great solution; or if he's ever willing to speak to you about WHY he does this, or WHAT he's feeling/thinking/planning around it.***********he uses various drugs & I'm sure it's horrid for him, but it's not like he's a cocaine or crack or heroin or crystal meth 'user'. I think if there's an addiction, it's to using substances to cope with life, as opposed to being addicted to a particular substance. Not that that's GREAT!!! I think he's depressed; when suggesting this to him & asking if he'd consider taking meds, he says he IS taking meds to help him feel better! Oh well.***********
> Have you got a therapist handy? Or find yourself a parents-of-maddening-children support group? Either of those might help. Or find a really irresistable woman to introduce him to, to lure him away from the girlfriend -- a really perfect woman who PAYS HER BILLS?*********I do have a therapist who is paid for by my husband's work but for 'short-term' situations. I have had 1 appointment last week with her & will be seeing her again. Usually I can go for 8 or 9 sessions about a particular problem, so that's good. It does help, but being able to have support here is immeasurably helpful to me.*********
> I'm just sorry, Kath. I wish there was somehting i could offer to help.********I really appreciate your support & will probably view this as a "support group" for me during this upcoming time. Thanks Racer.
:-) Kath - & yes, I actually am smiling, which is better than earlier today!********
poster:Kath
thread:646542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/646631.html