Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2005, at 18:20:13
In reply to Re: I'm sorry, I won't do it again, posted by Deneb on December 31, 2005, at 17:57:07
> So, people are frustrated that I won't do things to help myself?
> People offer suggestions and I don't follow them and this makes people feel angry and frustrated?i need to try and think of an analogy... probably one with humour in it... but i'm not on form today...
:-(
i'll try and do as best i can.lets suppose you really care about someone.
and you really want them to be happy and to be getting what they want out of life.
and you can see that they really struggle at times...
(with going round in the circle i described)now lets suppose that you see that there are things that person can do that are likely to help them in the long run.
but the person doesn't do those things.
kind of like how if someone is sick and they need to go to the doctor and get an antibiotic and they won't - they just want their friends to give them panadol all the time...
i really do believe that people only feel frustrated because they care. because they really want you to have a life that you consider to be worth living. to get what you want out of life. to be genuinely happy.
> I think maybe I took more than the recommended dose to see whether or not I really do need help. If I couldn't do it, that would mean that I didn't need any help. If I really did do it that means that i have problems.
i'm lost. sorry but... that doesn't make any sense to me.
you vaccilate between:
'everything is so terrible and i am so messed up and i am going to kill myself'
and
'there is nothing wrong with me i am perfectly fine'
but the truth... lies somewhere in the middle.
at times... and in some respects... there is nothing wrong with you and you are perfectly fine. at other times... in some other respects... you could really benefit from some therapy / medication. that isn't to say you are totally and completely all f*cked up. that is to say that if you want to have a life worth living... well... that is what DBT is supposed to be about. Creating a life worth living for yourself. And giving you the skills... To create that for yourself. But yeah... It is going to involve hard work from you. And medication... has really helped you. I couldn't believe how well you were doing when you were on it... I know it isn't a magic cure... But I really do think it helped give you the edge where you were doing amazingly well and dealing with your thoughts / feelings and you weren't escalating out of control, and you weren't contemplating suicide and obsessions with people etc etc etc.
So those things helped.
you don't need an excuse to seek help.
the things I've mentioned...
are enough.
they are enough of a reason.
you don't need an 'excuse'
sometimes... it is more about preventing / minimising the impact of the 'bad times'
than it is about doing nothing until the bad time is out of control and you are a serious risk to yourself.
and all we can offer is panadol
which long term...
well the circle continues.
and it can't be much fun for you :-(
and you deserve better for yourself.
you do.
and it is a little frustrating for me when i think you could be doing a lot better (and be in a little less pain) for therapy / medication. but you don't see that.but other people can't make you...
and it is up to you...but people only 'pressure' you...
because we do care.
i'm not angry.
i get a little frustrated at times (because i remember how horrible it felt to be going round that circle...) and because a combination of therapy / meds helped me to get off...
and i do want what is best for you.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:593665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051225/msgs/593802.html