Posted by Tamar on August 10, 2005, at 12:08:56
In reply to Re: What do you think of FLIRTING????, posted by caraher on August 9, 2005, at 22:24:58
> Apparently I am extremely flirting-impaired. I think eye contact is a part of it, and that's one thing I worked very hard on in therapy. I first became aware of it with an ex-T who asked, "What is so interesting about your shoes?" Apparently I'd spent the whole session staring at my feet. We didn't really go anywhere with that; it was my next T who had more of a CBT orientation who really pushed me to do something about it (and not with the idea of improving flirting skills!).
Use of appropriate eye contact does seem to be quite important in everyday social interaction, even when people aren't flirting.
> Sometimes it feels as though my wife labels almost any communication between me and a female between age 15 and 50 as "flirting."
Does she imply there's something wrong with flirting?
It can be hard to negotiate. I wouldn't want my husband to flirt outrageously with other women in front of me. But I wouldn't want to think he was unattractive either. Ultimately I don’t believe any other woman is a threat to my marriage, so if he flirts a bit it doesn’t bother me. And if he can flirt, so can I!
> I've had to train myself to ignore that as much as I can. At the same time she's probably also correct that I often completely fail to recognize flirtatious behaviors.
Well, I guess if you don’t recognize flirtatious behaviours, you can’t be doing anything wrong! But maybe it would be fun once in a while to engage in a little bit of flirtatious behaviour? Or is that something you wouldn’t feel comfortable with?
poster:Tamar
thread:539248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050805/msgs/539935.html