Posted by Dr. Bob on July 24, 2005, at 9:51:50
In reply to Re: Drama triangle » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on July 23, 2005, at 20:39:23
> Maybe it depends on the form of "rescue" offered?
Thanks for bringing this up. I do think a lot depends on the form of rescue, or defense.
> I think my therapist was using this theory because he believes that my desire to rescue makes me a likely recipient of incivility, and is not always particularly appreciated by either the recipient or the poster of a post that falls outside the civility guidelines. And that moreover, giving into the urge to rescue merely prolongs and escalates the drama, which isn't in anyone's best interests.
>
> Dinah> They are the victim and so they are justified in being the perpetrator in attacking someone else...
>
> in attempting to rescue the victim they perpetrate against the perpetrator. And thus the original perpetrator who already felt victimised now comes to feel even more victimised - and the situation escalates...> you can help them see what is going wrong...
> Maybe...
> I would think of that as helping rather than rescuing.
>
> alexandra_kI agree, it's a problem when attempts to rescue, or defend, are themselves uncivil. Two wrongs don't make a right. There are civil ways to help, or support, others. For example, using I-statements. And babblemail is an option if becoming a target oneself is a concern.
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:530124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050719/msgs/532642.html