Posted by alexandra_k on May 27, 2005, at 0:08:29
In reply to Re: I feel like doing a bad bad thing *trigger* » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on May 26, 2005, at 23:57:43
> If that happened to me I would probably have to kill myself.
If you are lucky enough to be still able to do that.
Of course, you wouldn't be able to if you managed to turn yourself into a vegetable. Or got severely brain damaged or whatever.You know, it isn't as easy to kill yourself as you might think.
Firstly it is terrifying.
Secondly bodies are fairly resilient.> I don't know why I am playing "games."
My thought on that was that you just didn't really care whether you live or die. I don't know. Thats just how I used to feel I guess. I still feel that way a lot. But I don't have urges to hurt myself anymore.
>My p-doc told me that overdosing and going to the hospital is not a "game" and that it really hurts other people when I do that. I'm not 100% sure what she means...Does she mean that the people in the hospital get upset because I overdosed?
F*ck the people in hospital.
I think that your mother
Your sister
Would be pretty upset.>I just have an urge to OD again and I'm not sure why.
Maybe you just want the horrible feelings to stop.
Is that it?
> Maybe this is all a dream...it doesn't matter what I do, I will wake up from it. I can do anything I want to. If I think I am wrong, I can kill myself and wake up again. Meanwhile I can have lots of fun.But if you are wrong
And it isn't a dream
And you end up disabled
Then you might just be stuck with that
Unable to end it
Other people having to look after you.
Is it worth that risk???
poster:alexandra_k
thread:503343
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/503472.html