Posted by jimmyjgill on May 1, 2005, at 11:08:00
I had a relationship with a compulsive liar for the past year and it has ruined my ability to function emotionally or mentally. I am truly jaded at this point. Currently in therapy and taking medication. She confessed her problems early in the relationship but I felt we could over come the problem with love and trust. Bad move. She is also very ADHD. Two distinct personalities. On medication and off medication. Her ability to lie goes beyond belief. Except perhaps her own. I'm not sure she can have one conversation without including some sort of lie within it. I also believe her emotions are somehow connected to this compulsive falseness.
I have never had anyone tell me with such emotions how she loved me like no other. I was her best of everything and she would marry me in a heart beat. Tears included. These words were constant for 8 months throughout the relationship. I was her best lover, best friend, best relationship. No one ever treated her as well as I did according to her. She claimed I made her happy.
Suddenly, she no longer was in love with me. The last 3 months were the worst. One minute she would say I can't imagine not having you in my life, I love you so much. Again, tears included. 1 hour later she would tell me she is going on a date with someone else that she has strong feelings for and that she needed space. The next morning she would come over, tears again, expressing how much she missed being with me the night before. She called me one day to express how much her feelings had been growing for me again and that she was thinking about our future together as a married couple. She just wanted to let me know how much she loved me and was thinking about me. 3 hours later she called to say she was again going on another date. Her emotions completely different as if the previous conversation never took place. This kind of back and forth continued for weeks. We would be together having the best time ever. Laughing and playing like a couple of kids. She would express her love for me. Later, she would find some reason to excuse herself to do something outside. I would watch her from a distance to see that she was on her cell phone talking to the other person. I would later check her phone call history to prove my theory. Finally, one day she came over to talk. Wanted to let me know she loved me so deeply that I could not imagine just how deep but that she needed a little more time to think about things. Tears again. She asked me to not give up and to not stop loving her. She could not imagine not having me in her life. 4 days later she said she did not want to see or talk to me again and that she was in love with the other man. Not a word from her since.
During that last 3 months she was physically ill. Throwing up, headaches, breaking out in rashes. She looked terrible. I could see that emotionally she was hurting. I know that she lied a great deal about this other man she was getting involved with. Perhaps in an attempt to not hurt me. But the lies seemed to drive the emotions which rollercoastered at an insane cycle.
I believe the emotions themselves were very true but only based on the current lie she was living. When the lie changed, so did the emotions. Her lies can be quite dramatic at times. Very descriptive and detailed yet completely made up.
She has to be having trouble distinguishing the difference between lie and reality. I can't imagine someone like this being able to separate the two. I'm also shocked at how she was able to turn off all contact with me without looking back.
Could it be that our relationship, which was built on many lies, contains those emotions and memories. Now that she has moved on to another relationship, she has discarded those lies to start new ones. Thus her memory of me has departed some what with the discarded lies?Sad thing is that if see came running back to me I would accept her with open arms. She has so many great qualities it’s hard to believe she feels a need to lie to live and be accepted.
Any one out there with same experience?
poster:jimmyjgill
thread:492283
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050426/msgs/492283.html