Posted by fluffy on September 19, 2004, at 14:30:40
In reply to Life in general -- Katy, posted by Barbaracat on September 17, 2004, at 16:53:36
Thanks Barb-cat--
Yeah--this guy is a keeper. We've been out a couple of times (and had a lot of fun) since I talked to you last. He's asked me how I feel, but he's not smothering. I feel a lot less pressure now around him. I don't feel like I'm hiding all of this stuff from him--and I'm not performing. But I didn't tell him everything--the things that only really i can feel, and that only I should probably know about and keep tabs on. For example, suicidal thoughts are really not the types of thoughts that I want to share with most anyone, including the doctors. So I just let them run their course in my head.
For whatever reasons, I've had a run of 3 normal days. Seems I've steered out of the BAD depression stuff for a little while, which sure is a nice breather. I don't really care if it means I'm "out of the woods". Really--are we EVER out of the woods? Just sometimes we get lost and tangled in them, and then when you think you can't chew your way out, its grip loosens. (ahhh) OR--someone helps loosen the grips for you...even nicer and rarer.
Just trying to stay healthy and eat and not get too preoccupied with med changes and what other people think (which is what consumes me when I get depressed).
I see my doctor tomorrow.
Let me ask you a strange question--what do you think my jaw clenching is all about? Really ever since I went off of anti-depressants, I've had this fluctuating bruxism thing. When I'm down, especially I clench harder (involuntarilly). When I'm up, it hurts like I'm grimacing. I personally think it is connected with dopamine. When I went on Risperdal, it helped the ups and the pain associated. But still I have this jaw pain, and I wonder how and why it is connected. Just an oddball question...
Anyway..I thank you again for all of your advice and support.
Katy
poster:fluffy
thread:392070
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040914/msgs/392655.html