Posted by just plain jane on September 11, 2004, at 19:26:58
In reply to Re: feeling strange and twisted » octopusprime, posted by Wildflower on September 10, 2004, at 12:56:51
I, too, went through a lot of guys. In my late teens and then again in my mid-twenties I was wild, really wild. For me it wasn't a power or sexuality thing, it was a wild animal running from domesticity, a girl trying to prove to herself she actually wasn't so ugly or so dorky no one would have her, and then a feeling filthy disgusted with myself, how could I do this and yet couldn't stop, maybe sometime I'll accidentally run into the ONE, the guy who would accept me for me and never mention my past, just love me as I am and as I grow, and...
My confession is not of what I was guilty of then, but of the fact that I buried my self, shut down most of my personality,
in a(nother) marriage to
another man I couldn't stand
because I found myself
pregnant, four months after we got married,
and I knew this would be
my only chance to share
the intense love I live inside of
to share my world and the wonders of it
with someone who would care
and learn
and grow
and, maybe
share his love with memy son
made all the rest of the world go away
and for 12 years he was my worldand as he grew into his own self
I grew back into mine
and still we share
love
and learning
and disagreeing
and sunsets
and ice cream
andmy confession is that I hid behind my child
poster:just plain jane
thread:389015
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040907/msgs/389816.html