Posted by JenStar on August 31, 2004, at 10:16:29
In reply to The real world vs. the uncivilised world, posted by partlycloudy on August 31, 2004, at 9:34:33
I agree!
I also think that sometimes here on babble we try too hard to be "nice" to people who haven't proven that they deserve such treatment.
Sometimes the outpouring of forgiveness and sweet support and attempts at understanding to a person who has acted like a complete jerk (and I mean COMPLETE -- not the lapses that we all make from time to time) are just beyond me.
I consider myself to be a generally (85%? 90%?) "nice" person, but I also have personal limits about how much C*** I will take from people who seem genuinely uninterested in working on a 2-way road.
Sometimes it seems like we try to salvage the unsalvagable. Why is this? Is it because we want the glory of 'talking down' or 'civilizing' a difficult person? Is it because we don't want to admit failure? I'm not asking these questions to be cruel and they're really NOT hypotheticals. I really do wonder about this.
Sometimes it's just honestly hard for me to 'get' all the 'turn the other cheek' stuff, esp. when it doesn't seem to work. If you can tentatively get someone to keep a lid on it by backing up and coddling and soothing them, and saying just the right things, and avoiding saying stuff that sets them off -- is it worth it? Is that a relationship worth keeping alive?
Anyway, maybe I'm just in an ornery mood today and I hope you all don't consider me 'beyond salvation'. But I really am curious about some of the responses to the recent curser and why some of you reached out with compassion instead of laying down the law or plain ignoring him/her.
Curiously yours, (honestly curious - not being sarcastic!]
jenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:384648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/384672.html