Posted by Jess24 on July 16, 2004, at 12:07:35
In reply to Re: Deeprooted issues » Jess24, posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 10:40:54
oh I can relate Indie, in a certain way but you see, when I DO get depressed on occasion (please believe me, I have reason and am just a normal human being trying so hard to survive this sometimes very cruel world of ours) I never reach for anybody to help me through it, I suffer it alone because I just don't want to drag anybody down with me. However, when I'm strong again and my happy self and feel that I can cope with whatever the world throws my way, this is when I seem to meet these people. It always starts as friendship and I realise that I am indeed counselling them but then I start feeling that I am starting to become dragged down with them cos that's when it happens. As soon as they start feeling better about themselves and are confident that I'm not the 'type' that they were involved with before (the users and abusers) then the trouble starts. They then feel they have the right to take all their crap out on me but I can't take it so have to withdraw. However, I end up feeling sooo rejected and wonder what is it in me that keeps allowing this to happen? I am a very non-judgmental person and am always for the underdog - because I've been there!!! So I use what I have experienced to try and help other people feel better about themselves and in so doing, I end up depressed again - feeling rejected although I know that I am quite popular as a person, people DO value my opinions and yet, when it comes to true love, I just can't do it. I end up in destructive relationships giving, and giving until I can't give anymore.
The baffling 'thing' is that women that seem to treat their men like dirt, are able to 'hang on' to them - so it seems that you have to be a real nasty person that thrives on playing games?? I am the total opposite, I DETEST people that play games - I am what I am and cannot for the life of me understand why people do this???
I am currently sitting here wishing that he would contact me because I really miss him - I miss that person I met before he started playing games and treating me so badly and yet I know in my heart that if he does come back and wins me round, it's going to end in tears.!!! Why do I always believe that there is hope when there isn't - it's going to destroy me if I can't get out of the same old pattern.
poster:Jess24
thread:366591
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/366852.html