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Re: Ooooooowwwww! » ghost

Posted by partlycloudy on July 14, 2004, at 14:18:30

In reply to Re: Ooooooowwwww!, posted by ghost on July 14, 2004, at 14:00:09

No, I'm afraid not. I sopped up my tears and took a xanax (I hate to do that) so now I'm just plain old feeling sorry for myself and floating like I'm somewhere in the ether. Numb is an improvement on pain. I called my mum last night (she lives far away from me) but she's very remote in her manner too. My sister is on the opposite coast and very judgemental.... hmmm no wonder I'm going for therapy.

I just hate feeling needy. I hate how quickly this swoops down over me. Just hits me upside the head and boom! I fall down.

My panic attacks have returned in full force. I'm getting wicked stress headaches every other day - on the off day I'm getting migraines. Everything seems to be coming to a head. I know it's the EMDR and I get very hopped up not knowing what's going to pop out of my head. Last time I talked with my dead cat. Then with my regular T I did a guided meditation with her and spoke to my panic. It told me to open up and use my senses to the fullest, to look and hear and taste and feel; because I get so very withdrawn when I'm panicked. I've been better here at work (until today) and was unprepared for my body and mind to trip me up.
Just shaken up, I guess.

 

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