Posted by Indie on July 14, 2004, at 10:42:42
In reply to Re: New member needing support. LONG story. » Indie, posted by Elle2021 on July 14, 2004, at 1:08:31
No support is inadequate! It is such a relief to talk (or rather write) to people that really understand what depression is like. It is great that somebody knows what it is like to take pill after pill, drug after drug and then wait...wait to start living again. My grandmother always asks me if I am taking my medication...I always want to scream at her and say (with great sarcasm) "NO!! I LIKE being this way!!" I know she means well and having lost her son to suicide she is terrified of the illness. I just can't bear people who think that as long as I take my medication I will be fine...
As for your suicidal thoughts, good for you for never giving in. When ever you have them again write to me and I will remind you of the devastion that suicide causes. I will remind you of the constant guilt I feel for giving in and deciding to die. I will remind you of being frightened of myself, frightened of the dark side of me for trying to kill the light side of me!!
Thank you for reminding me that this shall pass. I need that reminder now. After over a year of almost constant depression it is hard to remember that. Today I feel that I might be able to take a shower and go somewhere to work on my papers. Somehow writing all of this down, actually following through and seeking support, has made me a little more confident that I can finish those tasks that are holding me back.
Hugs to you! I hope your day is a little brighter than yesterday and your depression leaves you soon. I know that you deserve to be free from all of this.
> Sounds like you are having a really tough time right now. You mentioned that you don't respond well to medication, neither do I.
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> I'm glad you lived through your suicide attempt. I have suffered from suicidal ideation (although I haven't ever actually tried to do it). I feel like I can kind of relate to how it feels to not want to wake up in the morning. I'm pretty depressed right now too. Perhaps, we can comfort each other and offer support to each other.
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> When I feel bad, Dinah, one of the other posters here, always tells me, "This too shall pass." It helps me to try to see more into the future. I think seeing past today, this hour, this minute is sometimes impaired by severe depression. I feel like this post is wildly inadequate where support is concerned. I wish I had the magic comforting words to say to you. Please let me know how you are feeling today.
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> Elle
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poster:Indie
thread:365893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/366043.html