Posted by antigua on June 10, 2004, at 18:46:41
In reply to Racer and Antigua....any better?, posted by tootercat on June 10, 2004, at 15:10:19
That's a tough question to answer. I want to say yes, but the real answer is no. Tomorrow is the last day of school for my younger kids so I took the opportunity to do what I wanted today (very unusual): I stayed in bed all day. Depression can be so exhausting.
I've done all the right things--called my T last night, called my best friend and she's promised to come for a visit next week. She keeps hitting me with "your kids will think they were responsible" if I totally give up and as much as I hate hearing that for right now she is probably right, although in many ways I feel they would be much better w/o me.
My world has gotten so small. I just don't want to talk to anyone. I isolate, and that's always a really bad sign.
I guess that I feel this will never get better. I've been at it for so very long and it just seems to get worse and worse, never better. I mean the therapy part, and how it affects my day to day life. There appears to be no bottom. Maybe this is as good as it gets and I just have to accept that.
I really need to make an appt with a new pdoc, but I just don't want to make the connection to another medical professional. I just can't trust again, and I don't want the anguish. I know that when I can't make myself do something (pick up the phone and dial, for ex) than something strong is keeping me from doing it.
I'm sick of myself and my whining.
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:355479
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040602/msgs/355543.html