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What is wrong with me???

Posted by TexasChic on June 4, 2004, at 12:30:46

Once again, I'm being all overly sensitive and paranoid. My friend at work hasn't spoken to me all day. She did it yesterday up until lunch, and then seemed to realize it and started talking to me again. The whole time my friend#2 kept coming up and asking her to smoke and not saying a word to me. So I figured she didn't want to be around me either.

Then this morning, I asked friend #1 to look at some designs I made for work so she could tell me what she thought. I sat there, no response, no acknowledgement, nothing. I thought, maybe she didn't hear me. So I asked her if she heard me and she said yeah, and kept working. I waited a few minutes and finally put the stuff away.

Then it started again with them going to smoke and not asking me. I know I could easily be over reacting, but I just get so sick of this. Why can't people just express a little tiny bit that they want me around? Or actually acknowledge that I said something to them. I'm always getting talked over when I'm in a group with these people, its like no one could possibly be interested in a thing I have to say.

Just now, friend #2 asked if either me or friend #1 wanted to go smoke. I was like, you mean I'm invited? She was like, of course your invited. So I went and everyone talked around me. Then friend #2 asked if I'd like to go with her and friend #1 to pick up lunch. I told her I'd just stay here. I know I probably should have gone and it would have smoothed things over, but friend #1 seems to be intentionally ignoring me! I'm just sick of always having to put up with this.

We're supposed to go out for friend #1's birthday tonight, but I don't know if I want to go. I know I'm being stubborn and the right thing to do would be to act like nothing is going on and just jump right in. But I'm just so sick of this happening over and over. If they really don't want me around, I'd rather just know so I can move on. Friend #1 is the same one who I always have these types of problems with. Everytime I confront her she says things are nothing like what I thought. But I know this can't be all me, although I usually blame myself and apologize to her for being so paranoid. Or maybe I am just paranoid... I don't know. I just know I'm tired of this back and forth stuff. And I'm tired of being ignored and treated like an extra who just tags along. I'm just tired. I don't know what to do.

 

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poster:TexasChic thread:353756
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