Posted by TexasChic on May 18, 2004, at 12:52:10
In reply to Re: Paranoia self destroyer, posted by TexasChic on May 18, 2004, at 11:55:51
Well, I broke my own rule and told her that it hurt my feelings that she didn't invite me to the fair. She just said, sorry, I didn't know you wanted to go. Then she said, why didn't you say something. And I said, well, you've been kind of distant lately, and then there's the fact that your boyfriend can't stand me. She said, I would tell you if he had a problem with it. And I said, so that means he decides whether or not I'm invited? And she said, no, no, not at all. And that was it. The rest of lunch was more awkward silences.
The thing is, I want someone to invite me somewhere because they want me there and would enjoy my company. But I feel like I keep setting myself up instead for a pity invite. Obviously, she no longer thinks of me anymore when something comes up, and that's hard because she didn't used to be that way. Its just so hard for me not to take it as a personal slight against me. And I know I'm not exactly making myself into someone she would want to ask somewhere because I'm upset and it shows. I wish I could just be care free and happy when I do get invited out.
I know I have to separate myself from the hurt I'm feeling, because I'm not helping the situation by pouting about it. But I sure am having trouble doing it (especially since we work together).
Anyway, I just needed to get this out, so that's why I keep writing these posts.
poster:TexasChic
thread:346799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/348199.html