Posted by Racer on May 12, 2004, at 15:51:46
In reply to Re: Uh-oh... I think we might have a problem » Racer, posted by Emme on May 12, 2004, at 12:25:11
Again, you sound a lot like me. When I first started therapy -- oh so many years ago (like 20?) -- I couldn't say that Mother was at fault for anything. I mean, I was telling these stories to my therapist about how *I* hadn't reacted appropriately at age 6 or 8 over something Mother had done. I also wouldn't admit that I was angry about anything that had gone on in my family, not my father's utter failure to be responsible about keeping in touch, not my mother's failure to protect me from her boyfriend -- nothing. I wasn't angry, not me, good girls don't get angry and never blame anyone except ourselves.
The next stage, of course, is to get angry. I went through a stage where my mother was the devil herself. (OK, I never thought Mother was evil. I just thought she was not very good to me. I think I was right.)
Now we're in a much better place. It helps that I adore my mother. She is a lot of fun, can be very interesting, has a way of cutting to the heart of an issue with such utter naivety that it's impossible not to be charmed by her. (Mother is the one who would innocently point out that the Emperor is naked as a jaybird.) She's talented, captivating, utterly impossible. (Personally, I'm planning to settle for implausible. Impossible seems so much work!) So, we get along for the most part, and I know I enjoy her company. Took a long time to get here, though.
It's always funny to hear stories so close to my own from others. Thanks for posting this thread, gives me something to think about.
poster:Racer
thread:345714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/346208.html