Posted by rainyday on March 29, 2004, at 8:15:08
I am changing my meds from buspar and affexor to wellbutrin. Aside from the transitional effects which were devasting, it has left me with a lingering "blueness". When I am really down my self esteem disappears. It creeps back as the depression recedes.
My question: when I am in the dumps, I realize many issues in my past have apparently leave me incapable of truly belieivng I am (smart, well read, maybe pretty, deserving of love)- all of these things. The depression is chemically treated - but aren't all those issues lurking, waiting for the next crash?
I am a bit blue today. I can still see and feel how down on myself I was last week. In my heart of hearts, I also believe that
I'm not worthy
I'm not smart
I'm not capable
I'm not pretty
I'll never lose the weight I gained on these meds
and, worst of allI am going to turn into my mother
Do you think that depression forces us to deal with our real character weaknesses, or is it just a manifestation of the sickness of depression?
Any and all thoughts are appreciated. I am seeing both my p-doc (tomorrow) and my T (the next day) this week. I want to be well armed for facing the Real Issues.
Thanks so much,
rainyday
poster:rainyday
thread:329754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329754.html