Posted by CrazyGuy on March 26, 2004, at 12:07:01
I'd like to get some (serious, nonjudgmental) feedback on the following: About 5 years ago, I had a therapist in another state who I saw off-and-on for about a year and a half. He has a master's degree in counseling/psychology and although he had a full-time profession in another field, he did counseling on a voluntary basis through an organization I contacted when I was in need of somebody to talk some things through with. Anyway, he was helpful to me during some trying times (e.g. a hospitalization during a manic/psychotic episode, making the decision to leave an unfulfilling job and take another job on the other side of the country). We've kept in touch via occasional e-mails in the 3.5 years since I've moved away (and in the meantime, he's moved to another state as well). I've seen him a couple of times since our therapeutic relationship ended -- we met once for coffee and another time for drinks -- when I've been in town visiting other friends. To a certain extent, I view him as an older friend who knows me pretty well (and, to a certain extent, better than some of my "closer" friends) and I enjoy keeping in contact with him and he seems to be cool with it as well. (Incidentally, I also keep in contact via phone with a former psychiatrist who I haven't seen in almost 10 years. He too lives in another state and I call him occasionally to get an informal sort of second opinion on my current medications. He also is quite open to receiving my occasional phone calls, answering my questions and asking how my life, in general, is going.) So, here's the deal: both I and my former therapist are gay men. If the occasion should arise, I would not be opposed to sleeping with him (though I'm pretty sure that I would not make the first move). The most contact that we've had thus far as been a hug after my last session with him 3.5 years ago and a hug when parting after our two social meetings since then. I know that therapists are prohibited from engaging in sex with a current client, but don't know the deal about prohibitions against sex with a former client -- especially a former client who they haven't seen therapeutically for years and now lives in another state. And let me just clarify that I'm not obsessed with this former therapist and it's not the case that I think we'd actually have a relationship (he does have a partner). It's just that I like him and have some positive feelings for him and would not be opposed to being sexual with him, but wouldn't do it if it could potentially cause him problems (though since he no longer lives/practices in the state where he was my therapist and I'm not sure he practices in the state where he currently lives I don't think he could run into any "problems"). If we had originally met under different circumstances and had developed the sort of long-distance friendly relationship we currently have now, I would be comfortable expressing to him the next time I saw him how I have positive/sexual feelings for him, but since he IS my former therapist, I think it would be inappropriate. Any (serious, non-judgmental) thoughts?
poster:CrazyGuy
thread:328719
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/328719.html