Posted by Ilene on March 24, 2004, at 21:50:30
In reply to Re: Dear diary March 21 » Ilene, posted by fallsfall on March 22, 2004, at 7:19:07
> Ilene,
>
> I think that I had the same problem with CBT that you have. I'm pretty good at reframing things ("this isn't a crisis, it is an opportunity to use my skills"). But I can't just decide that something that matters a great deal to me isn't important. Too much of it seemed like I would need to lie to myself. I don't lie to anyone - least of all myself.
>
> It seems that for many people CBT works really well, and I will say that I did learn lots of important coping techniques. But CBT was NOT going to FIX my problem. It was only going to help me live with my problem.
>I think of therapy as damage control. I don't think it can begin to fix me. I might learn new skills or coping mechanisms, but I'm a believer in Better Living Through Chemistry.
> I hope that over time your husband can start to understand what you are trying to say - or at least believe that what you are saying is true for you even if he doesn't understand why.
>He wants to fix me, and he loses it when he can't. Even after he's gotten over it and apologized, I'm out of it for the rest of the day, usually. It's like being drugged.
> I also know about not being able to get "un-upset" easily. Did you do any relaxation exercises in the hospital?
No, no relaxation exercises in the hospital. Sometimes a yoga instructor will do them, but I find them irritating. I get bored because there's nothing to think about, and then I forget about relaxing. Or else I'm supposed to be lying on a beach (I'm sun sensitive) or on the grass (I'm allergic to grass).
This morning I woke up an hour early (5:30AM Ugh) and I was pretty anxious. I have therapy today, and that always winds me up. I had gotten a "Relax to Sleep" tape when I was in the hospital. It is guided imagery (relax your right arm, relax your left arm, etc). So I tried that at 5:30 and it really did help. I know I'll be all wound up again soon, but getting a couple of hours of relief was pretty good.
>A couple of hours? That's amazing!
> You really ARE getting things done! I'm quite impressed. Keep posting about your day - I like to see how much you are doing (and I'll cheer you on if you get into a slump). Make sure you read your posts and give yourself credit for the stuff you are doing.
I've been keeping these little lists so I can go over them and realize I *have* been doing things, but I don't list the really important things I haven't been doing--like taxes. Aiee!
>
> Rah, Rah, Rah! Go, Ilene, Go!Thanks for the support. If I feel as good tomorrow as I did today, I'm going to try for some of the Hard Stuff.
poster:Ilene
thread:325511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/327997.html