Posted by 8 Miles on January 2, 2004, at 17:06:59
In reply to famly looks @ disorder as contageous disease, posted by st@cy on January 2, 2004, at 12:48:49
Woooaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
St@cy, what we have here is a failure to communicate. If your family (including your grandparents) treat you like crap, that's terribly WRONG. Regardless of what you're problems are, your family should at LEAST be cognizant enough about your illness that they understand what it does to you, and your inability (sometimes) to control what you do. Are you relying upon your family for tuition or other financial support? If so, you DO need to try to follow the house rules, but that does not preclude you from your human rights. Unfortunately, many (most?) people do not know about the side effects of mental illness, or the meds used to treat them and THEIR side effects. The problem I see here is that for some reason, your family does not "appear" to understand your world. So, how do we resolve such a situation? First, you need to drop the low self-esteem and feelings that you are a loser, you are malfunctioning, and YOU should be able to be better through your own efforts. Many things in life are self-fulfilling. If YOU think you are messed up beyond repair, and it is YOUR fault, then you may very well live many years with that misperception. You are only 18, barely an "adult" by some standards, and still a minor by others. YOU are not responsible for a lot of what the world does to you. But if you accept this, and internalize this, you ARE in danger. OK, do you see a Pdoc and go to counseling? Has any of your family sat in any of your appointments? How can they possibly judge you if they have not tried to participate in ALL your attempts to get better? This is a very tough junction in your life. If you continue on your present course, you might get a whole lot worse, and feel terrible about yourself. How can ANYONE tell an 18 year old that they are worthless? Sure, you obviously are responsible for a lot of your actions and reactions. But if you are being respectful to the adults in your family, and not "going out of your way" to start trouble, then you have a God-given right to be yourself. Does this mean you can say "to hell with the world", no. I would consider a three-pronged approach to your situation. If you are NOT seeing a counselor, GO!
Secondly, once you have been doing that, you will learn some tools on interaction. Now you must apply those skills to find a way to communicate with your family how you feel about things. This would not be a guilt-slinging event where you blame them for mistreating you, but a very calm and gentle approach where you reach out for help and understanding. Thirdly, with your counselor's assistance, you need to change your negative self assesment. You are not worthless, or a waste product, you have an illness that CAN be successfully treated, and overcome (especially with someone as young as you). I challenge you to find the right counselor, and the right Pdoc (and maybe even a small support group with people your age...better if it's all female for several reasons). How do your friends treat you? Can you get their help? Please know that you are in no means alone, there are tens of thousands of people in the U.S. alone with the same or similar problems. You can't give up! Please let me know if you would like more info or just want to talk about it.
8
poster:8 Miles
thread:295751
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/295832.html