Posted by Jai Narayan on November 30, 2003, at 19:13:39
In reply to Rough holiday, posted by deirdrehbrt on November 28, 2003, at 21:20:54
"Monsoon Wedding"
An older friend of the family is found to have been molesting a young girl. I sort of lost it.
> I have been having flashbacks and severe anxiety since. I want to cry, but can't. I feel like throwing up.
>
I know what you mean about wanting to throw up...I was so close to that in therapy when I was working on early sexual abuse issues.
> I have been having memories of one specific incident, and I know that the problem is that I blame myself. I didn't say no. The man was my boss, and I was still in high-school. I still feel responsible.it can get pretty confusing: blame, shame and all that.
> I trained as a rape crisis counselor, and I know how I would talk to someone else in my situation. I don't know how to talk to myself like that.
>
It's hard to counsel yourself.
>
I want to cry. I want to puke. I want to scream. I want to grab someone 'round the throat. I want to run away. I want to cry on someone's shoulder.
>
the screaming, anger was just pouring out when I worked on this issue but the hardest part was....allowing someone to hug me. I was devastated.Once I started crying it seemed like a bottomless pit. It's so amazing to be held by someone I really trusted...to know that this person would not take advantage of me.
> Thanks so much for listening.Thanks Dee for being so out front and open. You are an inspiration.
Jai Narayan
poster:Jai Narayan
thread:284871
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/285321.html