Posted by deirdrehbrt on November 28, 2003, at 21:20:54
I sort of need some space to let out some things that have been very troubling this week. Thank you in advance.
Being a multiple, and in therapy, I'm working on a large number of issues; some of them that I don't even know about yet.
Yesterday, I was at a friend's house, and we watched a movie that I thought was going to be funny. The movie was "Monsoon Wedding"billed as heartwarming and entertaining. One part of the movie isn't. An older friend of the family is found to have been molesting a young girl. I sort of lost it.
I have been having flashbacks and severe anxiety since. I want to cry, but can't. I feel like throwing up.
I have been having memories of one specific incident, and I know that the problem is that I blame myself. I didn't say no. The man was my boss, and I was still in high-school. I still feel responsible.
I trained as a rape crisis counselor, and I know how I would talk to someone else in my situation. I don't know how to talk to myself like that.
I want to cry. I want to puke. I want to scream. I want to grab someone 'round the throat. I want to run away. I want to cry on someone's shoulder. I want a hug. I want to go to sleep.
I know that the days will see this calm down. I know too, that I have many more of these things lurking in my mind. This is just the hardest to deal with so far.
Thanks so much for listening.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:284871
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/284871.html