Posted by KimberlyDi on October 8, 2003, at 14:53:47
In reply to i'm desperate and afraid ,,,, posted by jinglebts on October 3, 2003, at 2:21:38
The two of you may be emotionally crippled by the same fear. He sounds like he's in denial, but underneath it, I'm sure it's just fear. Some men's entire identify is through their ability to support their family.
I'll be praying for you
KDi in TExas
> my ADD husband was laid off about a month ago from a hi-tech company, and i'm afraid ... he gets angry when i ask what he's doing and shuts me out for days or weeks, we're in our fifties, i'm hypothyroid and so my sleep is all over the place and i'm depressed (broke my hip in may) ... i want to move to the city my daughter's in ....
>
> there's a heap of papers in his office about four feet in diameter and two feet high and it completely blocks the closet so that i can't get into it, and i can't ask him about it -- NEVER (the ironing board is there, among other things and that's the only place for it)... but the main thing is, i don't know what he's doing on the job search front and my mum and i were so poor we lived in squalor, and I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT AGAIN!!! i have panic attacks over it ... but my husband, on the two occasions that he's been human, just says, "gee, it must have been awful to live like that ..."
>
> and i'm afraid we'll get like that again just because we never discuss our spending (except to say that we're going to reduce it and get less take-out) ... he just takes money out of the bank willy nilly, and frankly he's hurt our (mine by my ex) daughter ...
>
> i've just finished a crying jag (yes, we both have therapists and are in marriage counselling), i love this man and understand the shame he feels -- but i can't live with him because i'm afraid of being hurt, again and again -- he absolutely SLASHES me with words... what am i going to do?
>
> jb
poster:KimberlyDi
thread:265136
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266816.html