Posted by fallsfall on September 15, 2003, at 21:56:06
In reply to I figured it out, but I wish it helped more., posted by kara lynne on September 15, 2003, at 18:20:43
Don't call him.
So if you couldn't connect with your parents, that must have been really difficult for you to deal with as a child. And you would have tried and tried and kept on trying (and are still trying, I would guess) to connect. Because we need our parents and will do whatever we have to to get them to meet our needs. And there is a real desperation when our parents don't meet our needs. Because we can't survive if our parents don't meet our needs. So you were fighting for your life when you were little.
And that's what it feels like now.
But the difference is that you WILL survive if you don't connect with him. Intellectually you know that. If you can separate the knowledge from the emotions, and see how appropriate those emotions were when you were little, then you might be able to see what the appropriate emotions are for today. Think about how you feel right now, and then think about not connecting with your parents - do you see how those emotions make sense?
Good job talking to your counselor about this. And good for her for coming up with helpful information.
You know how bad for you he is. You know that he has mega issues of his own. Let him go.
I don't care who you have connected with. You are valuable to me (and Jimi).
You are right. Connecting with him is not a great plan. It's time for a different plan.
poster:fallsfall
thread:260066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/260462.html