Posted by fallsfall on September 8, 2003, at 20:47:28
In reply to On the Mind of the Addict, posted by Temmie on September 8, 2003, at 16:08:49
>>Will I ever talk again with this sweet man I used to know?
I wish I could say yes. I wish I could tell you to put him in a rehab program and when he comes out he'll be fine. I suppose it is possible. I don't think it is likely - I'm sorry, Temmie.
Who was that man? Maybe he held it together long enough for you to fall in love with him. He has been NOT that man for much more of his life than he was that man. I don't know who he was, but I haven't heard you say anything that would make me think that he would come back to stay.
He has too much history of problems. Ex-wives, girlfriends. Drugs of various flavors. Homelessness. And there is not indication that he *wants* to turn back into the man you love.
So that leaves you loving *your* Paul.
But *your* Paul doesn't exist. The only Paul who does exist is the one you describe in your post. And then you say:
>>What's the matter with me, I wonder.
>>It should be easy as one-two-three, given what I've spelled out here ....
You can't take the existing Paul and expect to end up with *your* Paul. You'll end up with the existing Paul.
Your Paul was temporary. If he was more than temporary, then his life wouldn't be as much of a mess as it is. You are in love with someone who doesn't exist. I'm so sorry. I wish I could see it another way. But I can't.
Temmie, you have so much going for you. If you get connected with Paul you will spend the rest of your life fighting to get him to be what you want him to be. Four ex-wives and girlfriends are still involved with him enough so that you know all about them. Don't do this.
There are other men in the world. There are people to be friends with. There are people to love. You know that it takes some time and effort to find people. You need to do that.
Will you ever find someone who you love as much as *your* Paul? I don't know. Will you ever find someone who can make you really happy? I would think that this is likely.
[These are just my opinions. They are based on the information you have posted and what I have learned in my life. I believe that you wanted me to give my opinion. But please take all of the information that you have available to you and make your own decision]
(((((Temmie)))))
poster:fallsfall
thread:258126
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/258214.html