Posted by Temmie on September 8, 2003, at 16:08:49
Well, I wish I hadn't offended Mercury ... and, given that, hope there's someone out there ... who can talk some on the topic noted above.
I'm (still) in a quandary, as to how/why things have disintegrated around me (and more importantly, around "him"), since hooking up with Paul in November of last year.
At the time, he was unemployed, but settled (somewhat unhappily) in an apartment ... with a phone ... and a computer ... etc. etc. etc. After driving out to see me (some 1100 miles), I learned the "apartment situation" was a live-in situation with a woman I knew nothing of ....
Those who've followed this story know the relationship ended ugly, with girlfriend filing A&B charges. When Paul followed up on these, he learned there was another A&B charges from yet an earlier girlfriend ....
In the meantime, his unemployment passed the one-year mark ... his "stay" here, ended up financed, in large part by me ... whereupon I realized he drank too much ... his need for pot bordered on the creepy levels (I could definitely tell when he was running out) ... he was moody ... unpleasantly so .... Then there was a night of crack-use ....
This spring he went back to NY. Hooked up again with the woman he'd told me was "crazy," and that he wanted nothing to do with (the one who'd filed the charges). Good grief. Then he came into $35-grand, which somehow led to renewed crack use -- and now .... I'm imagining most of the money is gone, the first A&B resulted in a conviction ... the mother of his first-born threw him out, the mother of his second-born has recently filed a restraining order ....
And I'm wondering -- how did this peace-loving, wonderful man I used to know (whom I invited into my heart and home some 10 months ago) become such a bum and such a loser?
I'm supposing he'll just end up in jail following his trial for the second A&B this Wendesday .... And this is probably a good thing? But won't he still find avenues for crack-use in jail? And ... even if he doesn't find/have access to crack -- will being in jail ever rehabilitate him in any way? Will I ever talk again with this sweet man I used to know? Or this other guy ... this guy with the flat affect ... who doesn't seem to care about anything -- is that the guy who's here to stay.
Will Paul, as I knew him, ever come back? And how does one "un-hook" from a loved one .... Especially during a time of such need?
* * * * *
What's the matter with me, I wonder.
It should be easy as one-two-three, given what I've spelled out here ....
But where did that man go? That sweet, sweet man ... and even if he were only but "friend" ...
I wonder what to do now?
* * * * *
Maybe I need to do a google-search on the mind of a sociopath ....
Has anyone, but me, ever found themselves in a situation like this?
Temmie
poster:Temmie
thread:258126
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/258126.html