Posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 8:11:52
In reply to Re: So, why is it... » Penny, posted by fallsfall on September 4, 2003, at 20:12:50
> Penny,
>
> It sounds to me like you know what you want from her - you want her there if you need her, you want her to be your friend, you want her to let you live your own life, you want to not feel guilty when you do tell her what is going on.
>
> Can you tell her that this is the way it is? That if she's always worried about you that it hurts rather than helps? That she can trust you to come and wake her up if you need to do that - if you don't wake her up that you are coping in your own way (you may have to promise to stay alive). That if she makes you feel guilty for sharing with her that you will stop sharing.
>
> If you can really clearly tell her what your needs are and what the only responsibilities are that she has for you, then there might be some kind of chance? (Being who I am I would write it down so there wouldn't be confusion later, but most people aren't me)
- Unfortunately, writing things down with her isn't really effective. Because no matter how tactfully I try to say something, no matter how many times I reread and revise to make sure that I am saying exactly what I mean to say, etc., she will pull things out and twist it around.Had a pretty good therapy session last night and my T said that there is probably no way I will ever be able to be for my roommate what she wants me to be. Truly with her, it's not about what I need, it's about what she needs and what she thinks I need. Whether I need it or not. And to tell her otherwise is just unacceptable to her.
In talking to a reasonable person, your approach would be effective, but my roommate is not always a reasonable person. Sometimes, but not always.
At this point, it's just easier to live and let live and hold on 'til November 1.
>
> You really do sound healthier and healthier. You Go Girl!Thanks! Wish I felt it....
:-(
P
poster:Penny
thread:256313
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/257228.html