Posted by kara lynne on July 6, 2003, at 14:45:56
In reply to Re: talked to friend briefly, posted by kara lynne on July 6, 2003, at 14:24:13
...that he was pretty demeaning to my mother in front of all the kids while we were growing up. It became a form of bonding to mother-bash. My mother, while not a wonderful mother, certainly was not helped by this.
It's all so complicated because at a certain point he became guilty and I was then supposed to take care of my mother emotionally. Then I was punished for showing anger towards her--something that had been previously almost rewarded. I know he also resented his own mother like mad.
Early on I heard him making sexually demoralzing comments about women with my brothers. I remember going out to breakfast once with him and my two brothers. My brothers were laughing about the fact that they had both slept with a roommate I'd had in the psychiatric hospital (I was hospitalized when I was 15 years old for depression--for nine months.) My father also seemed to be in on the joke. I said it wasn't funny, that this particular girl had told me stories of sleeping with a knife under her pillow in case her molesting stepfather should come in her room.
So I got the message early about what women were good for. I know (although I'm not supposed to) that my father lost his virginity to a prostitute, although I'm told that wasn't unusual for the era.
Oh Emme, I've really gone off here, haven't I? I don't really have any point, but it all seems to swim around in there somewhere.
Thank you for letting me ramble on.
poster:kara lynne
thread:238884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/239690.html